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Funny Rude Valentines Day Cards

You can have your forced romantic dinners, your chocolates and flowers but what you really want on 14th February is a shag! And these rude valentines cards are the perfect way of making that clear, no beating about the bush, no wining and dining, just lust! Who said romance was dead?

For something a bit more romantic, not all the cards are rude, there are some funny valentines cards, gay Valentine's and there is even have an adorable kitten card.
A white birthday card with a semi circular rainbow and underneath black curved text reads Proud as fuck
£2.50  (RAN 90)
 
Stay Home Zoom Wank Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  £0.50  (RAN 46)
 
Huge Stiffy Rude Valentines Card
£2.50  £0.50  (DMV 52)
 
Keep Kinky and Carry On funny Valentines card
£2.50  £0.50  (DMV 12)
 
I love my cat funny greeting card
£2.50  (DMU 205)
 
Wanna Bang? Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  (DMU 183)
 
Can We Have Sex Now Funny Greeting Card
£2.50  £0.50  (DMU 68)
 
Sit On My Face Valentines Card
£2.50  (DMV 67)
Even Wankers Rude Valentines Card
£2.50  (DMV 124)
 
I Love You You Big Cunt
£2.50  (DMA 374)
 
Booty Call Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  £1.00  (DMU 162)
 
You'll Do Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  (DMA 372)
 
Suck My Cock Rude Valentines Card
£2.50  (DMV 119)
 
Send Nudes Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  (DMV 118)
 
Proud Your Mine Card
£2.50  (DMV 116)
 
Roses Are Red Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  (DMV 112)
 
Love You Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  (DMV 109)
 
Sit On My Face Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  (DMV 108)
 
Obligatory Romantic Valentines Card
£2.50  (DMV 107)
 
Farty Bottom Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  (DMV 106)
 
You're Simply Magical Funny Greeting Card
£2.50  £1.00  (DMA 332)
 
I'm Not Bored Of You Yet Funny Valentine's Card
£2.50  £1.00  (DMV 26)
 
A dark pink Valentine’s Day card with the words You had me at let’s shag
£2.50  £1.00  (DMV 65)
 
Valentine Goals Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  (DMV 100)
 
I Really Really Love You Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  £1.00  (DMV 96)
 
Love You, Obvs Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  (DMV 94)
 
Sex Me Rude Valentines Card
£2.50  £1.00  (DMV 80)
 
I Love Your Big Cock Rude Valentines Card
£2.50  £1.00  (DMV 90)
 
Wanna Netflix and Chill? Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  £1.00  (DMV 86)
 
A greeting card with a man holding a placard reading I love anal
£2.50  (DMA 278)
 
You Sexy Hipster Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  £0.50  (DMV 75)
 
You Sexy Beast Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  £0.50  (DMV 73)
 
Let's Make Sex Faces Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  £0.50  (DMV 70)
 
Can I Be Your Big Spoon? Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  £0.50  (DMV 69)
 
A dark purple Valentine’s Day card with the words It won’t suck itself
£2.50  £0.50  (DMV 57)
 
I Love You Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  £0.50  (DMV 55)
 
To My Awesome Valentine Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  £1.00  (DMV 36)
 
Suck My Dick Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  £0.50  (DMV 27)
 
Or The Kitten Gets It Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  £1.00  (DMV 03)
 
Hands On Your Package Funny Valentines Card
£2.50  £1.00  (DMV 01)
 

If you want to show your affection, appreciation or are getting a tiny bit lusty, or want a gay Valentine's Day card, our hilarious range of funny and rude Valentines cards should be just the job!

Now we’re certainly able to produce a romantic card or two to show your affection, but if you’re looking for loving tenderness in a Valentine message, most of our cards are probably off that scale. Our Valentines cards are designed to be a little inappropriate, to downright filthy, to make your sweetheart laugh. If you’ve already had a browse, then by now you’ll realise we specialise in the slightly naughty sixties and Seventies type play on words, through to the blunt, in your face statements to make your romantic other half’s jaw drop. Only you can know which of these to buy, and let’s face it, you have to know the person well to send them a rude card, so you’re probably right on the mark, aren’t you :-)

Make sure you have a thorough browse, so you find the perfect one (or more if you’re sending to more than one person!). We have a cheeky range of fun gifts too, perfect for that little valentine’s extra present and we do rude wrapping paper if you want to match in with the theme of the rude card or special present you already have.

Last date modified: 24th February 2022