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Home :: Gifts and Wrap :: Pens

Please Note: Orders placed after Midday Friday 5th Aug will be dispatched Tuesday 9th Aug

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Funny Rude Pens

3 FOR 2 ON ALL PENS!! - Discount will be applied at checkout

We love pens! Who wants to work in a paperless office and one without funny pens? You wouldn't be able to tell people what you are thinking when they try to steal yours, for a start! But now our collection of rude pens has the perfect choice for you. Have fun!

Of course you can find some of our signature rude and some may say offensive phrases on these, but we have also some lovely ones. They are also like little Pokemon ... gotta collect them all. They look perfect on your desk or kitchen table in a little pen pot all cute and sweary ready to surprise an unsuspecting visitor.

A white ballpoint pen with a purple grip and black ink. Bold purple text one side Best employee ever!

Best employee ever! Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 72)

A white ballpoint pen with a orange grip and black ink. Rounded bold black text reads I love anal

I love anal Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 71)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Alternating deep red and blue text reads Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck off

Fuck this Fuck that Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 70)

A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink. Straight bold black uppercase text reads Sick of this shit

Sick of this shit Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 69)

A white ballpoint pen with a pink grip and black ink. Slanted pink bold text with a black outline reads total slag

Total slag Funny Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 68)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Capitalised red and deep blue text along one side reads World's best arsehole

World's best arsehole Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 67)

A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink. Bold rounded black uppercase text along one side reads I give no fucks

I give no fucks Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 66)

A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink. Bold rounded black uppercase text along one side reads I take no shit

I take no shit Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 65)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Bold black text on one side reads I love (heart symbol) my dog

I love my dog Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 64)

A white ballpoint pen with a pink grip and black ink. Red text on one side reads Office bitch

Office Bitch Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 63)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Red text on one side reads Off you fuck!

Off you fuck Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 62)

A white ballpoint pen with a pink grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads I've stuck this pen up my fanny

Stuck this pen up my fanny Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 61)

A white ballpoint pen with a orange grip and black ink. Black curvy text on one side reads Hands up who farted

Hands up who farted Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 60)

A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink. Black curvy text on one side reads Pen clicking cunt

Pen Clicking Cunt Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 59)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Bold black and red capital letters read I hate people

I hate people Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 58)

A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink. Lower case text reads Have you had your wank today?

Have you had your wank today Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 57)

A white ballpoint pen with a pink grip and black ink. Slanted purple and pink text reads Wake up Alcohol Repeat

Wake up Alcohol Repeat Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 56)

A white ballpoint pen with a pink grip and black ink. Slanted rainbow text reads Yasss Queen

Yasss Queen Funny LGBTQ+ Pen

£2.75 (PEN 55)

A white ballpoint pen with a yellow grip and black ink. Curvy pale yellow text with a black outline reads Filthy cum slut

Filthy Cum Slut Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 54)

A white ballpoint pen with a purple grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads Winging it!

Winging It! Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 53)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Red text on one side reads Stay the fuck away

Stay The Fuck Away Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 52)

A white ballpoint pen with a purple grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads Do epic shit!

Do Epic Shit Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 51)

A white ballpoint pen with a pink grip and black ink. Rainbow text on one side reads Have a nice gay

Have A Nice Gay Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 50)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Text on one side reads No cunts today please

No Cunts Today Please Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 49)

Let's Cancel 2020 Funny Pen

Let's Cancel 2020 Funny Pen

£2.75 £0.50 (PEN 48)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads TikTok Twat

TikTok Twat Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 47)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads I hate my boss

I Hate My Boss Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 46)

A white ballpoint pen with a pink grip and black ink. Rainbow text on one side reads Big Gay Pen

Big Gay Pen Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 45)

A white ballpoint pen with a blue grip and black ink. Text on one side reads Needy attention sponge.

Needy Attention Sponge Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 44)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads I love wanking

I Love Wanking Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 43)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Rainbow text on one side reads My fucking pen

My Fucking Pen Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 40)

A white ballpoint pen with a green grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads I'm weird, deal with it!

I'm Weird Deal With It Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 39)

A white ballpoint pen with a purple grip and black ink. Purple text on one side reads I cunt spell

I Cunt Spell Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 38)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads Today needs a stronger drink than coffee and a ruder word than fuck

Today Needs A Stronger Drink Than Coffee Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 37)

A white ballpoint pen with a purple grip and black ink. Purple text on one side reads Not a morning person

Not A Morning Person Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 36)

A white ballpoint pen with a white grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads I hate everyone

I Hate Everyone Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 35)

A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads Piss off, I'm busy!

Piss Off, I'm Busy Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 34)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Text reads Warning! This pen is fucking rude

Warning! This Pen Is Fucking Rude Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 33)

A white ballpoint pen with a blue grip and black ink. Text on one side reads Alexa, send wine!

Alexa, Send Wine Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 32)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Red and black text on one side reads Being a useless tosser is all part of my charm

Being A Useless Tosser Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 31)

A white ballpoint pen with a yellow grip and black ink. Text on one side reads Fuck off

Fuck Off Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 30)

A white ballpoint pen with a blue grip and black ink. Text on one side reads I've just had an epic poo

I've Just Had An Epic Poo Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 29)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Red text on one side reads I work with idiots

I Work With Idiots Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 28)

A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink. Text on one side reads What can I fuck up today?

What Can I Fuck Up Today? Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 27)

A white ballpoint pen with a pink grip and black ink. Text on one side reads Wake up be fabulous repeat

Wake Up Be Fabulous Repeat Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 26)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink

Today's Mood Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 25)

A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads Fuck this shit!

Fuck This Shit Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 24)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Text on the side reads I love my cats

I Love My Cats Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 23)

A white ballpoint pen with a green grip and black ink

Did I Tell You I Was Vegan Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 22)

A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads Bored of this meeting

Bored Of This Meeting Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 21)

A white ballpoint pen with a purple grip and black ink. Purple text on one side reads Zero fucks given

Zero Fucks Given Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 20)

A white ballpoint pen with a dark red grip and black ink. Red text on one side reads Everyone can fuck right off

Everyone Can Fuck Right Off Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 19)

A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads I love cock

I Love Cock Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 18)

A white ballpoint pen with a black grip. Black text reads Cunty bollocks

Cunty Bollocks Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 17)

A white ballpoint pen with a dark red grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads I've stuck this pen up my bum

Stuck This Pen Up My Bum Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 16)

A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink

Fuck Work Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 15)

A white ballpoint pen with an orange grip and black ink. Brown text on one side reads I need a poo!

I Need A Poo! Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 14)

A white ballpoint pen with a purple grip and black ink. black text on one side reads Huge Bellend

Huge Bellend Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 13)

A white ballpoint pen with a purple grip and black ink. Pink and blue and purple text on one side reads Fuck fuck fuckity fuck

Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 12)

A white ballpoint pen with a dark blue grip and black ink

Today Is A Lovely Day For You To Fuck Off Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 11)

A white ballpoint pen with a green grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads Crazy cat lady

Crazy Cat Lady Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 04)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink. Black text on one side reads Office wanker.

Office Wanker Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 10)

A white ballpoint pen with a dark blue grip and black ink

Don't Blame Me I Voted Remain Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 09)

A white ballpoint pen with a pink grip and black ink. Rainbow text reads I shit rainbows.

I Shit Rainbows Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 08)

A white ballpoint pen with a black grip and black ink

Everyone Thinks You're A Cunt Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 07)

A white ballpoint pen with a dark blue grip and black ink. Black typewriter text reads Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 06)

A white ballpoint pen with a green grip and black ink

Santa Thinks You're A Cunt Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 05)

A white ballpoint pen with a pink grip and black ink. Pink text on one side reads Prosecco princess

Prosecco Princess Funny Pen

£2.75 (PEN 03)

A white ballpoint pen with text on one side reads Don't steal my fucking pen!

Don't Steal My Fucking Pen Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 02)

A white ballpoint pen with a red grip and black ink

I Don't Have An Attitude Problem Rude Pen

£2.75 (PEN 01)

Last date modified: 17th August 2021